Hi guys! How are you guys? I always feel the need to ask you ( an awesome person who took time to read this post) how you are because I feel like we’re having a conversation. It feels amazing.
I have been gone for such a long time but like everyone’s life, mines was pretty crazy these past few weeks. I’m not even joking when I say crazy. A lot of tears were shed.
Anyway, as you probably don’t know I have a special friend. The kind of friend that has the ability to wake the butterflies from their slumber and when those butterflies are awake, they are all over the place. Yes guys it’s true.
This may be shocking but little immature Hart has a special friend. We’ve been friends (I’m not joking when I say we’re friends because that”s all we are. Friends.) for four now and we’ve been special friends for a couple of months now but to be honest the past few weeks have been a bit… rocky.
Let me enlighten you guys because you must be curious (or confused). Either way I want to explain myself because I think that this form of expression will be healthy for me to do.
First of all let’s get this cleared up, J is the initial for my special friend. Also do you guys remember egg and eggplant? Yeahp they are the cause of the problem. *If you have no idea who egg is or who eggplant it, you can just try to find it in my previous rants. They are just basically the people who tried **tries** to ruin me.*
J is friendly with egg and eggplant, in fact he is TOO friendly with them. Of course as his special friend I don’t feel very comfortable about that. That is why every time he goes off to be extra friendly, right after he does that I ignore him. I feel really bad for ignoring him but I just can’t face him. Especially since he decides to be especially with the people that try to hurt me in every possible way they can. What hurts is that they are so good at it. They try to turn everyone against me without people knowing what they’re doing. It is just so frustrating and it just hurts. When I told J that he basically told me to to drag him into it and that I should dust forgive them. He just doesn’t understand me and I refuse to think that he doesn’t care.
It hurts to think that and right now we’re okay but then those thoughts still haunt me. He said that if I trusted him then things wouldn’t be this way. I trust him but when you abuse trust it just chips off piece by piece. What if egg and eggplant want to take J away from me? It just sucks.
One night when eggplant attacked me I sent J an angry text that came with an explanation. I basically said something along the lines of how God might have made a mistake when it came to me and maybe they had the right to emotionally kill me. And all he said that he was sorry.
That implied that he is on their side and that they should just continue to do that. He’s telling me that they matter more to him than I do to him. It just hurts to think that and I know you’re thinking “If it hurts to think it , then stop.” Well my friend it isn’t that easy.
It just hurts but for now I’ll roll with it no matter ho much it hurts. What do you think I should do?
Till our next conversation,